Snowblind Inbox

[warriorscribe]

[Such a wondrous device. Are there little invisible couriers for these messages?]

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voice

[warriorscribe]

You were at the morgue with House, Will, and one other. House was planning to be the one to risk his life, but- according to House, Will decided to try to save him by taking his place. You walked in on the struggle and... [House is Beckett's friend. He should be vague and allow the man to tell him in his own words, on his own time.] ...while intervening, you were mistakenly shoved into a sharp piece of rubble.

[He's silent a moment, catching his breath without realizing he'd been out of it, had scarcely breathed in even during the pauses.]

I...oh, Beckett, I was so worried. Deaths out of one's control have worse odds, and- I'm so glad to hear your voice.

voice

[bookofnope]

[Of all possible... a piece of rubble? Accidentally shoved? Was House responsible?

It's an embarrassing way to go, but past that first thought, Beckett almost feels dizzy with relief. Embarrassing, but wholly accidental. Impossible to prevent. Bad luck, not wrong choice.

He manages wryness, though the relief leaks through there in his weak voice.] Well. It would have been incredibly unfortunate for my final death to be so... arbitrary, after all this time.

[warriorscribe]

It could be worse. You could have vanished without a trace again.

[It hurts to recall, but...he manages a bit of answering levity himself, even buried as it is under a mountain of pained exhaustion. It helps, in a twisted way, that Beckett's death hadn't even fully hit him in the haze of isolation-induced depression at the time. He doubts it will accidentally help him a second time with how things have changed. He's glad he's back, even if he's still worried for him.]

Where have you revived?

[A beat of silence as it dawns on him he doesn't need to ask.]

...Ah- no, Angel asked Eve...you're where we are. I still have enough of the things for the hot meal I promised you to make good on it. Would you meet with us?

[bookofnope]

[... would he meet with them?

It's not a simple question. His immediate answer is no. He's supposed to be going, pulling away, that was what that had been all along. Hot food isn't enough temptation to change it...

There's a hole in his mind. He doesn't know what he might have put into motion, doesn't know what he might know when he regains what's missing. Those, he realizes, are strong practical reasons to stay with them at least for a few days. Still, he hesitates a long beat, and wavers still as he speaks, obviously undecided - ]

I have - things to do, still. I need to go to the high school...

[warriorscribe]

We're all going the same way, then. These markings might still pose a problem, but...

[But he can't just sit here anymore. Time is moving on, they are moving on, into unknown territory, owned by the cult, and thus, into unknown danger. People might suffer in the course of progress. Why is he back here and letting it happen? This would normally feed his cycle of despair but the added potential of maybe, just maybe...]

...We've found the way forward. The program Steph sent to Angel, she finished doing what needed to be done and sent it to the people near the church.

[And that's why it's important he share this meal with Beckett. The path ahead can't be pleasant. Let them have this. Let him have this, with all the risks he's determined to take, because Enoch doesn't know how many of those risks he'll be able to provide comfort for after.

Let them have this, before they go back to that place of hellish disease.]

[bookofnope]

[It's like dangling a piece of meat in front of a hungry wolf. The way forward. The confusion clears and Beckett's voice with it, ringing instead with eagerness, maybe even excitement.]

It has - she has? Angel managed it? [And pride, there's definitely pride there.] And it worked? We can go into the church?

[Lord, let it be so. Let him have something so tangible to focus on, to override all of his endless uncertainties and doubts.]

[warriorscribe]

[The sudden clarity and eagerness bring Enoch hope in return. He knows so well that feeling of the burden of doubt being lifted, and how important it is. What an immeasurable relief it is, and he feels it in grateful sympathy.]

If not right this moment, then certainly by the time we arrive. It came from whatever it was Ecks had. It must be the thing we've needed, the one the collective was talking about.

[bookofnope]

[Well, that changes everything - or most of everything. Beckett hesitates. He can't stop the others from going for the church as well, can he - but once they get there, would he be able to...]

I can travel there with you. [He decides to stop it at that. Consciously so. No promises anymore.]

[warriorscribe]

[He's hoping he'll see. He can, will do these things too, if preserving himself to avoid hurting Beckett is less of a concern (or would be a double standard he would be unable to hold himself to at any rate, unable to bear Beckett's own risks while he himself does nothing).

But just to hear he'll be at his side again... He sighs, audibly relieved.]

I'm glad. I at least- at least can make this meal for you. I hate breaking my promises, but most of all to you.

[Bad enough he can't keep his promise to Winter in his state. Bad enough he knows he can't promise Beckett he will stay safe if he is asked to, knowing what lingering and waiting and worrying does to him.]