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[That's...new. He's had people recognize his name, but...

Is there a word to describe a blend of hopeful and sad?]

My family? I knew there were stories about me, but not of them. What happened, what did they accomplish, while I had vanished without a trace?

Well, Noah - your grandson? I think? I'm sorry, it's been a long time since I really thought about any of this. But I grew up being told that when God flooded the world, he instructed Noah to build an ark and take aboard his family and two of every animal on Earth, so that they could survive until the waters receded and rebuild the world.

I don't think it literally happened that way, because it doesn't make a whole lot of sense from a, you know, genetic standpoint - but that's the story, and from what I picked up from Castiel about how these things got written down, the real history is probably something a lot like that.

[Great-grandson, but he doesn't know. He didn't get to keep tabs on his family from upstairs, after all. He didn't think to - didn't think the months in Heaven would translate to generations on Earth until they were already gone.

Of course, he has, now and then, had more children through which he could have had grandchildren so making the time match up to the generation doesn't put nearly as much of an obstacle between himself and this flood he's trying to prevent as he'd hope.]

Well...I hope my grandson will never have to do such a thing. This worldwide flood, it's something my mission was to prevent. A last resort God would never have to use.

That's right, the flood didn't happen in your world. [ He very narrowly catches himself before saying "hasn't happened yet" instead. ]

Well, I hope he doesn't either. It was always one of the stories I had questions about.

I might-...they wouldn't necessarily be relevant, but I might have a version of your answers. It's the least I could offer.

[Jimmy's found himself chained to this angel for an indeterminate amount of time, and he can't even decide when he's in control of his own body. He deserves whatever he can give him. And while the flood itself hasn't happened in his world, that doesn't mean he should assume there's nothing he can possibly shed light on.]

Mostly just... What could possibly be so evil that the only possible answer was flooding the whole world? Especially when some of the things we've done in the time since have been so...

[ He trails off, shaking his head. ]

It's always been hard, reconciling the idea of a kind and loving God with some of the stories we're told about what He's done, but it was easier when they were just stories, you know? But then Castiel came along and at first it was this amazing thing knowing with absolute certainty that He is real and present, but then comes the realization that all the confusing and horrible and arbitrary things in the Bible really did happen and it's just. A lot. It's a lot.

It may help you to know that- well, at least where I come from, it wasn't us that caused Heaven to threaten to flood Earth.

There were some angels, the Grigori, that desired to live with humans so badly they left without permission - they defied God, and fell. They took human lovers, and the result of these unions may have seemed harmless at first; young Nephilim are small, curious, very much like any child.

But they universally despise their own existence, inherently impure with nothing to warrant it. Some seek death, but almost nothing can destroy them at this early stage. Some seek destruction, but can't carry it out. They compromise - the ones that wish to destroy consume the others. And with them, they consume their impurity. Enough impurity fully corrupts them, and corruption brings out the worst in a being. In this case, the blind fury of pain. They burst into flame and become rampaging monsters.

Heaven...would rather have destroyed Earth on their own terms, so it could be rebuilt on their terms. Otherwise, the world would have been overrun by these Fire Nephilim.

It's not a good story, save for the flood never happening. Purifying a Nephilim takes a tremendous amount of energy, there's no practical way to save them, and I don't even know if it does help them. But at least it doesn't hypocritically blame humanity for their actions when free will is our greatest gift.

So it was another apocalypse thing, and not... our moral corruption, or anything like that. Okay. That makes sense.

[ That feels more in line with how he grew up thinking the whole judgement and free will thing worked. But he can't help but notice that this one was entirely Heaven's fault. Just like Judgment Day. He bites his tongue rather than point that out to Enoch, though, just sinking into contemplative silence for another long moment. ]

I'm sorry, I just. Still don't know what to think about any of this.

I wouldn't, either. I remember many of my own preconceptions were broken when I was invited to Heaven. It takes time.

[It's nice being able to talk to someone about something like this. What were the odds there would be another person with the same experience of...for lack of a better word, initiation?]

[ It is nice. Jimmy hadn't ever really had the opportunity to talk to any of his fellow Vessels about who they were, or how they must have been feeling being a part of everything that had been going on. Enoch isn't exactly in the same boat as any of them, but it is nice to have confirmation that he's not the only one having a hard time with all of this. ]

...Enoch, if it's not too personal a question? Why did God choose you? Did you know what would happen when you agreed?

It's hard to say. God may choose a person for many qualities, and may only reveal some of those reasons. I was told I was chosen for my piety, but I've...I've been given reason to believe it was my patience and capacity for forgiveness. There are many other faithful men in the world, but would their faith hold when they learned just how little angels truly understood? How living without needing to learn or lose or find their own ways gave them a completely different point of view?

How many could forgive a servant of God for not being as compassionate as we believe them to be, because we want to believe they embody all the best in us? I badly want to believe I'm not the only one. That we are capable of such understanding. I'd rather believe that anyone could, given time.

[He realizes he'd rambled off on a tangent, thinking of Beckett's reaction to his world that had given him this angle. He wonders if Jimmy's will be similar or, perhaps, if he'll understand better than anyone.]

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cw: suicide/cannibalism because Nephilim are sad little creatures

cw: suicide/cannibalism

Re: cw: suicide/cannibalism

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