warriorscribe | Snowblind Inbox

*He's not really in the right state of mind to do this, but he wants to know. To see if he can do anything to help those who were trapped with him.*

How are you feeling?

[His emotions can't decide whether to run rampant or whether it takes too much to express themselves. He's hardly moved since he's woken up, wrapped tight in the blanket Andromeda gave him.

He can't even try to deflect, because even if he didn't still have that death effect, it feels like there's nothing he can deflect to.]

Like...it feels like drowning.

Yeah, in a way. I don't really know what to do about it.

It wasn't me. I know it wasn't me. It still happened.

Logically, I'm not sure there was anything we could have done to stop it.

But that doesn't make it any easier to come to terms with.

I know. They still hurt...

[A little like the day after the surgeries, Enoch keeps breaking into bouts of tears, except now it's soft weeping, subdued and hollow.]

Can't help them; I hurt them.

[Well, only Rhys showed any extreme negative reaction to his presence. Billy seemed to have himself under greater control but to Enoch's currently defeated state of mind he might as well feel the same. Everyone in those cells probably felt the same, he thinks.]

I think we need to give them time. After they've recovered more maybe we can help them.

*He's going to try even if they don't request anything, though. Or as best he can without intruding cause any contact from him might make things worse.*

I know. Part of me thinks they never will.

[He'd contacted Rhys in blind panic. Billy had come to him. He's afraid to contact anyone else, but at the same time, feels he must, somehow...]

I think eventually most people at least come to terms with...trauma. I just hope we have enough time for them to do so.

Enough time.

[He knows it means while the town can still support them. He knows this. But where his mind goes with it first is another matter.]

I'm frightened - what if this doesn't last? Being ourselves again?

I don't know. I can't be sure we're not just waiting for it to come back.

*He's terrified of that prospect.*

The fact that we were able to fight it should be reassuring...

*But what if it comes back at full strength after resting? He doesn't know.*

...perhaps we can find a way to get others to restrain us.

I- I don't think...

It's not feasible. No.

[He's aware of this, because it doesn't stem from him. He's very acutely aware, in fact, that in using "we could harm someone else at a moment's notice" to tie them up indefinitely, he might as well be asking a very dear friend to do the same, every waking hour of his existence.

In that sense, it becomes close enough to becoming a matter of defending him, and defending those he loves gives him strength.]

They can be prepared to. But we can't treat ourselves like monsters. It won't help us.

*He sighs.*

You're right. I just...I don't know. I don't know how much of this is logical and how much is just fear and guilt.

I know. I don't know what to do. It hurts...

[A tearful sniffle, fighting to keep from crying again and only partly succeeding. He hates being so vulnerable but it doesn't feel like he can do or be anything but.]

What will you do, Manny?

*He takes a deep breath.*

I don't know yet.

Find someone willing to travel with you, perhaps?

[He says, unable to move from his fetal position on the floor of the very same building he woke up in.]

Or...keep talking. Keep yourself with company other than your own thoughts.

Its probably best not to be alone...

*He's not sure if any one would want to travel with him, though. Nor does he know where any one else really is.*

...I'll see if I can find someone to travel with. As long as you promise to do so too.

I'll try.

[It's the same thing he said to Alfie. It won't be until the next day he'll start making potential plans.]

I think trying is the most any of us can ask for right now.

Good luck.

Snowblind Inbox

@mlaurin, voice; day 265

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